Hilarious Hidden Inappropriate Themes in Ancient Literature 

Interesting class today. I think the only thing we managed to accomplish was to make fun of Aeneus. “Why isn’t he the typical Roman soldier?” 

“Because he cries all the time.” I say, “plus, he’s too open about his relationship with the gods. It’s more intimate than it should be.” 

“How so?” 

Pony tail hipster guy perks up and says, “Romans are supposed to aim to please the gods. Not be their pet.” I give him my nod of approval and continue. 

“Then you have Turnus who is definitely more Roman but he doesn’t really think about the gods when he acts.” 

“Turnus is Roman because Turnus turnt up,” pony tail hipster guy adds. 

There was also a conversation about the excess of groin jabs and injuries. 

“This is why they’re crying so much!” Exclaims the professor. 

“So is this why their so hostile? Because they hold their pride and manly hood I’m the groin?” Asked Mulan. 

“Yes Mulan, the Trojans are upset because the Rutilians keep taking swings at their manhood.” He had meant that to be sarcastic but this is a 4000 level English class, we take everything seriously. 

Things only got worse after Elsa had to add, “with their shapely, bloody limbs.” 

Whistle shakes his head, “Shapely? Why use shapely? Out of all the words in the English language Virgil used shapely.” 

“This is all seems so, so, so…. ” The girl my posse have nicknamed skippy for unknown reasons (probably just because we can’t remember her name) struggled for the right word to use. “Intimate?” 

“Yes!” Pony tail hipster guy shouts, “this whole book is just one big pile of homoerotica with gore. Only thing left to do is replace the blood with chocolate sauce.” 

“I should write my research paper on that,” another guy, who’s name I believe starts with an I but I can’t be sure, joked. 

The professor replies, “That’s not research, that’s fan fiction.” 

Instead of ending the conversation there, the class had to laugh historically and continue to comment. 

“They are Romans,” Methuselah says, “it’s to be expected.” 

I just happened to be sitting next to the professor trying desperately to contain my laughter so that I can transcribe this unusual yet highly entertaining conversation for this very blog. He looks over at me, knowing what I’m doing and begins to plead with the class to keep it P.G. 

I mean, it’s his fault. He chose the books, were college students and he also encouraged the discussion whether he meant to or not. And as much as I despise coming to class, I’m very glad I did because this was too funny not to share. I only wish every class could be like this, especially when the professor picks books that are slightly inappropriate. Like last semester and Brave New World. Just imagine the conversations we could have had about the “Orgy Porgy scene.” 


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