10 Days Till Graduation 

So, I had plans to write this inspiring post about working hard and perservering but today has been absolutely awful. Not only is graduation slapping me in the face the stress is eating me alive. Also, my phone broke today and I had to pay $140 just to fix it. 

I received a 100 on a math test and learned that no matter what I make on the test today and on the final I will have a B. Math is something I’ve always struggled with so I was so extremely pumped and ready to preach about how if you work hard enough you can achieve anything!

Instead…. 

I’m hiding in my bathtub with my blankie, IPad and a tub of strawberries. No shame. 

I’m not in denial anymore… I’m graduating… can we just get it over with already!?

I have now passed into a vast wasteland of anger and depression in which the only solution is to hide in my bathroom. 

I will have to emerge eventually to go pick up my phone from the repair shop, but I can get pizza on the way home.

I’ll be sure to keep you apprised of any further developments should they arise… But I doubt it. 

14 Days till Graduation 

It’s getting close. Real close. And I’m becoming VERY emotional about it. My bubble of denial is getting thinner and thinner as I mail out invites, thank you cards and make arrangements for family. 

I’ve been really sick the last few days and overwhelmed with makeup work I haven’t really thought about graduation much until Eskimo gave me a very nice hug and I realized that I only had two more weeks of those hugs left. *tears* 

Also, since I’m a graduating senior I don’t have to take some of my final exams. All I have to do is show up for class. In criminology were watching Shawshank Redemption, one of my favorite movies so not only do I have to show up, I don’t even have to pay attention. It feels like those days at the end of the school year in High School after all the TAKS/STAAR tests when your teachers have given up on teaching and just pick moderately educational movies. Normally I’d be excited about this… But I LOVE college. I DONT WANT TO LEAVE. 

I didn’t cry at my High school graduation. But there will definitely be some waterworks on May 7th. 

Mini Panic Attacks and High School Angst

Who else HATED their high school experience? I know you’re out there so don’t even try to lie.

But maybe you loved high school. Maybe you were one of those people who thrived in high school. Well good for you, I didn’t. Those were the WORST years of my life mostly because high school me was the WORST version of me to ever exist. I’m much happier now surrounded by college kids who are just as stressed, depressed, broke and nerdy as I am.

Why is any of that relevant you ask? Well because I went to the type of high school your whole family goes to, so naturally I still have cousins who still attend this awful small town high school. One of my cousins, I call her Red Herring because she’s a gorgeous red head and stands out among all my other family members (she’s probably my favorite cousin if I had to pick, but they say it’s not nice to play favorites), had a track meet today. I’ve been telling her I was going to come see her run, and I’m glad today was the day. She ran her best time all year today and though she didn’t advance to regionals she is still a winner in my book!

I had a mini panic attack just trying to find somewhere to park. I only escaped this hell hole four years ago in May, so I know quite a few of the teachers and coaches, not to mention the families of kids whom tortured me (I may have been unnecessarily mean to some freshman my senior year as well) that still have kids in school. Even though I’ve changed A LOT, someone was bound to recognize me and I’d have to pretend to be happy to see them because in a small town, one rude gesture will turn into a disrespectful remark by the time it gets back to my grandpa’s ears.

Luckily only one person recognized me and I managed to steer clear of any one with whom a potential altercation might occur. I’m definitely a lot more outspoken since I graduated, I’ve spent too much time around my aunties in the city to let some country bumpkin tell me how I would live my life so me being a little standoffish was probably a good thing. The last thing I needed was for the po-po to get called; that is one phone call from my Dad I’d rather not have(he was a cop in my hometown for nearly ten years, which is the only reason I got out of trouble so often).

I sure hope I’m in some sort of happy relationship by the time my ten year reunion comes around. I know this is bad, but ever since my high school graduation I’ve fantasized about coming back home with a published novel, a fantastic career in a different state with a badge and a gun to prove it. I’ve also added a hubby or a boyfriend to the list because after today there is no way I’m going back alone, but I’m not trying to rush into anything. One thing that always set me apart from every other person I grew up with is that my education/career came first. I wanted out and getting knocked up and married at age 19 wasn’t gonna get me the hell out of Dodge.

And now that my rant is over you can get back to your dinner( I’m having a grilled cheese, and yes, I will most likely regret it later #spoonielife).

We’ve got 17 days till graduation! Almost there…

OXOXO

Kat

Procrastination and Exploding Kitchen Appliances

Alright-I made it through the weekend. But because of the trauma from Friday I decided not to even look at my calendar or do any homework till today. BAD IDEA. Although I feel very much refreshed (as refreshed as a spoonie can ever feel) from a weekend of romancing Alistair and killing darkspawn, I should have at least looked at my to do list, because preparing yourself for the imminent doom of irresponsible procrastination stress is a tad better than unprepared spontaneous and well deserved procrastination stress.  A math assignment due today at 10am, two essays, two tests, an outline and four chapters of the Confessions of St. Augustine to read before Wednesday and also that stupid research paper I have to start over on.

To make matters worse the garbage disposal exploded and is now leaking through the motor. Who knows how that happened.

“I have never seen water leak through the motor before,” says my super.

I laugh because at this point there’s nothing that could happen that would surprise me. “Really? Well I guess there’s a first time for everything. There is no telling what happened to it, I have three younger sisters whom sometimes clean the kitchen for me.”Enough said.

For all we know the girls could have let a plastic spoon get ground up and then stuffed it with macaroni and cheese. You should have been here the day the cereal bowl “magically” exploded. I’m STILL picking cocoa pebbles off the walls. Or it could have been something I did… or L… or even my 46 year old father who has a habit of melting plastic on the electric gridle. There is just no telling…

I’m most likely going to be late to work, but Eskimo is covering for me because he is literally ‘the Grace of God’ at this point. Seriously, I just don’t know how I will survive post undergrad life without his amazing bear hugs.

We’re putting in a new unit and I should be off to work soon so I can beat myself up about my procrastination over the weekend where there’s plenty of people to witness my potential manic episode. But I will hold it together… 18 days and counting. Though to be honest I don’t even know what I’m counting down too. Because like I said on day 30, I have no idea what I’m doing with my life.

oxoxoxo WildeKats!

Kat :-*

The Traumatizing Disappearing Act of my Research Paper

Remember that 15 page research paper I kept procrastinating on? Well, I started it, almost finished it then I lost it. I have no idea where it went, one minute my computer was on and running fine, the next it wasn’t. My computer is set to auto save every three minutes, so I wasn’t too worried about my laptop’s sudden crash at the time. But when I boot the damned thing back up, my research paper is no where to be found.

My dad is somewhat of a computer genius and I’m not too far behind him when it comes to programming and computer code, so I know my way around a few things. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find my paper! I tried every back door, secret hidden file release and code I could think of to recover that document, but nope.

Funny thing is, it wasn’t just my research paper that went missing. Anything I saved to my C drive within the last three days is just GONE. My Dracula paper, my ropes course assignment worksheet, my Dragon Age save files, all of it… gone.

All of that happened at 9am this morning.

And instead of emailing the professor like any normal college student would do, I run to his office and have a melt down. I love writing papers, especially when I’m writing a kick ass research paper on Athenian Law in relation to the Oresteia and have all these bad ass sources such as Aristotle and Speeches from early court trials from the Council of Arepogus.  I needed him to know that this wasn’t me looking for an extension. I needed him to see the exhausted look of misery in my eyes.  All the English professors were around at the time, most importantly my favorite professor (We’ll call him Dr. Jones because he LOVES Indiana Jones), to witness my mental break down-but I didn’t care. He had to know this was really happening and it wasn’t my fault.

So, there I am wailing in my Ancient Lit professors office because my computer dumped my C drive or something and my paper is just gone. It’s due TODAY at 5 and because I had other things to do like class and work was no way in hell I could recreate that paper by the time it was due. If I had all day to sit and work on it, sure, I could spit out a half assed paper still worthy of a B. And because my professor had a heart (we call him the grammar Nazi, so this is sort of shocking) he gives me all the time I need to finish it because I basically have to start from scratch. This could also be because Dr. Jones looked just as upset as I was about this whole ordeal and Elsa was there giving him this look that said “Have mercy on her soul!” And because I’m a suck up/teachers pet/good student/ and insufferable know it all at times, I told him he would have the paper by the end of the day Tuesday.

Any who, whilst I’m sobbing, Dr. Jones, the grammar Nazi and my wonderful friend Elsa are stuffing me full of peanut butter cookies. Then my good friend whom we shall call Eskimo gave me a much needed bear hug after my research paper’s disappearing act.

So I guess today wasn’t terrible. I mean, I did my taxes, had this ceremony thing where I had to wear a dress and stand in the Texas heat for an hour and I finally got that Mommy hug I’ve been desperately needing for two weeks. And I had a ton of cookies… a TON of cookies. Seriously… I haven’t slept in like three days and in those three days I haven’t had anything but coffee, peanut butter, cereal and cookies. You should have seen me in the library last night  surrounded by huge tomes filled with Athenian Laws and Modern Judiciary practices. Just imagine a small, over caffeinated nerd in a plaid shirt running from white board to white board making time lines and organizing ideas. It got to the point where Eskimo had to sit me down and threaten to break into my apartment and overdose me on Benadryl if I didn’t sleep for at least five hours.

Welcome to college life. You think it’s bad now? Wait till finals week.

Only 21 days left… 21 DAYS. I can make it. I hope.

Wish me luck!

OXOXO

Kat

24 Days to Graduation

It’s barely 11a.m. and let me just sum up the day so far.

Alarm goes off, I coax myself out of bed. Arrive to class late, get out of class early, have a nice chat with my Juvenile Delinquency professor then decide to skip my 11a.m. because I’m job searching. Alright! I was convinced by my friends to skip because they’re skipping and we’re skip buddies. We’re hiding in their dorm drinking tea and listening to Adventure music on YouTube.

I’m currently contemplating freelance writing gigs because lets face it… I’m not good at much else. I mean-I am-but the idea of writing from home is a very comforting idea because of the #spoonielife. It’s a miracle I make it to class each day, and a job I don’t have to leave home for while I’m getting my Master’s degree sounds kind of amazing right now. I don’t have much professional writing experience, but I get excellent grades on all essays, lit reviews, and papers I submit.. does that count!? I don’t bean to boast about my grades but I’ve been told recently by three professors I have a wonderful writing style and I’m the only person in my Criminology  class that got a A+ on a persuasive paper I spent three days working on.

Its getting to the point where I am just scouring the internet desperately searching for any job that doesn’t require physical labor. As much as I love to throw 40lb bags of dog food around like a shirtless country boy hauling hay, it’s not really working for me anymore because…well…you know.

Are there any freelance writers out there with any advice? Is this something I could, or rather should consider? Any tips? I’m not looking to replace my day job, of course because that would be just down right silly, but I am considering it. I have written a novel that is currently being edited so I can start the query process for a Literary Agent for publishing, but even then I still might not get any bites. I’m just looking for a realistic way to get out into the writing community because I love to write.

I suppose I should post some of the things I’ve written for class… get myself out there. There’s so much I should do, but what full time college student/part time tutor-customer service associate has the time?

Let’s just get through graduation first, hmm? Yes, I think that’s a grand idea. I’ve got Ancient Lit in soon anyways-and a research paper I should get back to.

Until next time WildeKats,

oxoxo

Kat

25 Days Till Graduation 

Just to update everyone: I am still playing Dragon Age instead of doing school things and I have a research paper due Wednesday. Perfect. JUST PERFECT.

 On the bright side: Alistair approves ☺️ 

I did however manage to sleep till 8:30 and make it to my 9 O’clock early enough to snag coffee and a muffin. I also have begun to make arrangements for family members for that day in May that I refuse to speak about. I have three hotel rooms booked and rental cars scheduled. GO ME. 

I shall post updates should any further developments occurs. 

Love you guys! 

OXOXO

Kat 💗