Surprise! I’m alive–Just Barely.

Hello WildeKats, it’s been a while, a long while and I do apologize.

I do like to keep my personal life as private as possible but I feel i owe some people an explanation for dropping off the radar. I’ve mentioned before I’m a spoonie, struggling with CFS, Lupus and now possibly Fibromyalgia. Back in November I lost a family member dear to my heart. She had been struggling with cancer for a few years, but I don’t think any of us could really prepare for such an event.

I spent the Thanksgiving holidays with my family in Denver drinking tea and enjoying the last few warm days of the year. Upon my return to Texas I noticed a few symptoms had worsened. I have a high pain tolerance and I tend to compartmentalize a lot of things including some of my pain. While I was in Denver I stepped up and mothered those that needed comfort and saved my own grieving for midnight bowls of cereal (heartburn).

With my new job, which I still enjoy, I was too tired to do much of anything when I got home at night. My hands hurt more than normal and the pain had begun to creep up into my forearms. My back pain was more intense than usual and I was having a flare up at least once a week. I began searching for an Internist a while back with little luck so I also had a spout of depression. Then I also had my friends wedding to prepare for, being the Maid of Honor and all… so the last few months have been trying to say the least. For a while my hands hurt so bad I found it difficult to write or even play video games.

If you really wanna know what I’ve been doing, I’ve been binge watching Netflix and napping for the last month and a half between work shifts and doctors appointments. I was taken off one of my prescriptions and I feel somewhat better but now we’re considering some mild Chemo meds which is utterly terrifying. Not to mention my boyfriend doesn’t understand any of it and despite how sweet and patient he seems I can tell how frustrated he gets when we cant cuddle because I hurt that bad.

Wait. Pause and rewind.

Kat has a boyfriend? What happened to that single and proud business?

Yes, I have a boyfriend. It’s not a long story, but one better left for another post.

Bottom line is, I’m not dead. I just have limits and here lately social media has been the last thing on my mind. I still write when I can, but mostly I use the text to speech on my phone when I have major inspiration because here lately typing is just not an option.

Until next time, WildeKats.

I promise not to be gone for so long this time.

Love, Kat.


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