Just because something is on the internet doesn’t make it true. I know from experience how easy it is to appear happy. You post pictures on instagram, Facebook and Snapchat for other people to see–so that they’ll see how happy you are. You tweet snarky, funny and mischevious tweets and post on facebook so that specific people will see it. No one wants to broadcast how miserable they are and we’re certain no one wants to see it. Instead we aim to make them jealous by being incrediably happy. Maybe you’re not lying. Maybe you’re really happy and just want everyone to see it. Cool. You do you boo. But what if you’re not.
I am majorly guilty of this. I have family members in other states whom I don’t want to worry. In the past I’ve been bullied on line and instead of deleting my accounts I pressed on–pretended to be happy in school so that my peers wouldn’t think they had won. Which they hadn’t–but they didn’t need to think they had.
We also judge people based off of what they post online. In my book there are very fine lines I don’t like to cross. People who do cross them… cool… but I have no desire to read it. I don’t comment or berate, I simply ignore. But it’s so easy to cover up pain with a smile in a picture. Pictures capture one small second of someone’s life, not their entire story.
It’s so easy just to accept someone’s seemingly happy life on insta and never press for details. I see this with a lot of celebrities. They post beautiful pictures that make other people wish they were as pretty as said celeb–then later we find out they were fighting for their lives. Either depression, anorexia, suicidal thoughts… whatever. Everyone struggles. EVERYONE.
For years I pretended to be happy where I was. Even when I first realised I was sick I never said anything to even my parents. This only hurt me in the end. No one believed me because I struggled everyday to make myself look presentable. I covered up the pain, exhaustion and bruises that came from no where. I held back tears and suffered through the pain for so long that when I began telling people I was ill they didn’t believe me. They had seen me pretend to be happy, normal and healthy for so long that they couldn’t comprehend anything else.
I love who I am but it took me a long time to get here. I wish I knew then what I know now. I wish I knew how beautiful I was, how strong I was when I was a kid. I spent so much time trying to fit in, trying to convince the world I was jus like them but in the end I couldn’t even fool myself.
Why do we feel the need to lie to the world? Why do we cover up our pain and project a healthy persona on social media? Who are we trying to impress? What do we hope to accomplish?
I can’t answer any of these questions. But I can tell you that doing this–lying to the world–is dangerous in more ways than one. You’re lying to yourself. You’re trying to create an image, a person that’s not you. It’s fact that if you tell someone their not good enough long enough that person will be begin to believe it. If you keep telling yourself that your not good enough, sooner or later you will begin to believe it. If you keep telling yourself that you’re this person you’ve created, you’ll begin to believe it. Then when you can’t be that person…it’s devistating. Don’t do that to yourself.
You are perfect the way you are. And that person is who you need to project onto the world. Don’t be ashamed of your pain, your illnesses or any hardships you’ve been having. If you need help, ask for it. You’re not alone. Everyone struggles.
You’re your worst critic. Love yourself. Always. Originals are always worth more than copies. Don’t cover up who you are, embrace it and share it!
I love you.
Sorry for the touchy-feelyness this week.
No. You know what? I’m not sorry. I love you. And I just needed to tell you that.
Ok. I’m done now. Gross, sappy feels be gone!