Attitude, Insomnia, and a Whole Lot of Waiting.

So, I’ve been struggling. Not really sure why, I guess it’s just one of those weeks. Pain has been fairly manageable–except for those three days where my entire left arm was in so much pain it was rendered useless. That was a nightmare. I think the fatigue is getting to me. I sleep…but I always feel like I can never sleep enough. A routine hasn’t done me much good. It’s been two months since I started my daily routine and I don’t feel any different. I am by no means giving up…but I yearn for the summer months already.

Apollo (my computer) is being his normal moody greek god self. With all the attitude he’s giving me I’m beginning to question his name. I should have gone with Zeus, or Hades even. My liquid cooling system pooped out after only three or four months. Got a top of the line Cooler Master and I ended up having to take out two memory plates just to make it fit. That’s cool, I’ll just upgrade to two 8 gig plates instead of four 2 gig plates. No big, right? WRONG. Apollo now is no longer reading the hard drive or the raid card. I was so mad last night I abandoned him for Corvinus the PS4. Together, Corvinus and I watched netflix until two AM because…insomnia.

I have another wedding coming up. And I’m moving soon. Also I’m in the market for a new car. I’m trying to save every ounce of money I can in the next few weeks for a decent down payment so that the loan officer may over look certain credit discrepancies. I actually don’t know what my score is…I had a panic attack the other day when I tried to find out. It’s one of those things I think I’m okay not knowing for now.

My doctor told me to ease off the yoga–which I haven’t been doing–and try water aerobics.

Hon…I live in a rinky-dink small town. What is water aerobics? I don’t even think I’ve seen a heated pool here. Supposedly the hospital has a life center, but I can find literally ZERO info on whether or not I even have access to it.

I had been planning on saving my weekly post for the spoonie essentials box which I ordered exactly a month ago and still have yet to receive it. We were told they’d be shipped a little later this month, but with the past two weeks being as rough as they have been, I’m not going to lie, I am a little disappointed it’s not at my doorstep.  I’m excited none the less, and I will get a membership profile if it’s the last thing I do! I had planned on beginning a month to month subscription after I received the first box and was instructed to email a person about the membership profile that I never got. I’m not sure if it’s just because I only ordered one box or if they just haven’t gotten around to it yet, or what. Doesn’t really matter. They’re just like me, and if their weeks have been anything like mine, I will not judge. Even if I have to wait until next month. I will be grateful. I’m beyond excited to see what’s in the April box. I promise I’ll do a reveal. I have something excited planned for it!

Any who, I just wanted to pop in and say hello. I’m working on some things to post. Maybe I’ll post them…maybe I wont.

Love always,

Kat.

A Social Stigma

I have this friend, a fellow WordPress writer and spoonie. In this blog you know her as Elsa. We went to school together. She is, to put it lightly in southern terms, a hoot and a half.

Yesterday while we were having a much needed girls day, she brought up an interesting topic. It’s not uncommon for sooonies to suffer from mental health issues. I myself struggle with anxiety and mild depression. Elsa has been struggling with hers for a lot longer than me and boy is she a BAMF.  But it took her a long time to open up to me about her mental illness. She’s not really afraid to talk about it. But sometimes, talking about it can trigger symptoms. Sometimes sharing her struggles doesn’t relieve tension, it can cause it. And that’s okay. For me I’m the opposite, talking and writing about it helps a lot. Elsa writes poetry; beautiful words weaved together in structured stanzas that represent her feelings and experiences. This is how she copes. It’s hard to write sometimes, but poetry is her way of telling the world about herself.

While we were getting Chinese food, Elsa was reading me some tweets from a feed she follows. They were discussing depression and how they deal with it. One person said that when they’re in an episode they can’t do anything because it’s too difficult. This prompted an argument between the tweeters on the feed because the original tweeter was offended when others tried to comfort them and offer suggestions. This hit me kind of hard.

I know the struggle. I know how hard it is to get out of bed when you’re in a bad place. But putting that information out there, whether you’re asking for help or pity–is it really necessary to argue with people who only want to help? I know everyone is different. And I know that you can’t please everyone. Which is why I’m such an avid preacher of self care and love. If you don’t want to do anything to help yourself, fine–you don’t have to patronize anyone else.

Why is there such a stigma on mental illness? So many people struggle with even mild forms of mental illness. Why do we retreat within ourselves when we should be out shouting it to the world? Why are we ashamed of our struggles and illnesses? Happy healthy people are a facade. They don’t really exist. Everyone struggles, everyone. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help, and please don’t be ashamed of yourself. No matter your illness, no matter what your struggles are. You are beautiful and perfect. Always.

So how do you deal with an episode? Anxious, depressive, manic? Me, I surround myself with comforting things. Music, friends, family. When I’m really low I go to my moms and spend time with my sisters. Yesterday Elsa and I comforted each other, we got our nails done. Had a quiet dinner, she wrote and I killed things on the PS4.

Today I’m struggling physically but I’ve had a stressful week at work. I hadn’t slept, I hadn’t really ate. Elsa was just depressed because she had been doing nothing but working and hadn’t spoken to anyone other than coworkers and her husband in weeks. So she reached out, knowing I was stressed and I suggested a girls day. Some days I can’t handle other people so I hibernate in my room. But I take it upon myself to never have a negative attitude. I laugh about my illness. I find it comical how I shake sometimes, and my friends tease me about all the pill bottles I carry around in my purse. I don’t let my illness get the best of me, or at least I try. And I NEVER let it keep me down or spoil my spirits.

So there you have it. My Sunday morning, flare day rant.

I’d very much like to know what you do to help yourself through hard times. Do you surround yourself with family or friends? Or just one person? Do you colour, have a TV show you watch to make you smile?

Have a wonderful Sunday my loves,

OXOXOX

Kat

Two Spoonie’s Go To Comic Con 

It’s no secret that I’m a hopeless nerd. And what’s the ultimate goal of a nerd/geek? To make it to comic con! 

Now when I nerd out. I nerd out HARD. I’m talking cosplay, meeting celebs and going to every Q&A I can make it to. I’m also very out going on my good days. So naturally I make loads of friends at these places. This year however, I’m afraid I didn’t go all out like I normally do. With my recent diagnosis I wanted to take it easy. I did dress up but my costumes were pretty laid back compared to my past costumes. I went one year in full eleven armour! 

This year, my friend, and fellow spoonie, Anita and I booked a hotel room in Dallas, stocked up on pedialyte and crackers, packed our bags and drove three and a half hours to Dallas where we had the time of our lives! Sadly some of the celebs we had wanted to see didn’t come out but we made loads of new friends. 

I was surprised at how energetic I was. I was hurting, yes. But I think with everything going on and all the excitement the pain was put on the back burner. We went prepared for the worst. And although the first day I got HORRIBLE blisters on my feet–I was relatively okay. I did have one small panic attack Saturday when I got swept away by a crowd. But I found a quiet corner to decompress in until the crowd thinned. 

So for day two I wrapped up my feet, stuffed them in my standard issue federation boots and pushed on. I went as an original series star ship captain for day two. Then a gender swapped eleventh doctor for day three. I met Jennifer Hale, Hillywood, Alex Kingston and a few pro cosplayers. I spent more time going from booth to booth talking with vendors. I finally found someone to make me a custom corset! It will be reversible so I can use it for two costumes! I also found someone who showed me how to make ME armour from Eva foam. That will be my next project. 

Aside from the major crowd and the feet blisters, Anita and I were please with the Dallas turnout. In past years it’s been disappointing (especially since I’m used to Phoenix and San Diego Cons). 

Here are some pictures of awesome costumes we saw! Maybe even a few of me 😜 


I wish I would have taken more pictures.  But I’m sure you can find loads on the Dallas Fan Expo Website. 

Untill next time my loves 

As always, 

Oxoxo

Kat

Life Update: Fibromyalgia and Pain Management

Well WildeKats…

Looks like I officially get to be apart of the surprisingly large group of people who call them selves FibroWarriors. Do I get a pin or something? Chronically Fabulous maybe…or Sick Club? Fibro Chic? No? Okay then…

Spent the better part of the day at the Rheumatologist. I had a pressure point exam, ultra sound of my wrist and fingers and some other lab work done as well as a very informative lecture about Fibromyalgia–mostly stuff I already knew because of my dad’s ex-girlfriend has Fibro. Also a lot of you spoonies have Fibro and have been wonderful in my diagnosis journey.

I’m a little relived that they’re leaning away from Lupus but also a bit nervous and depressed because there are less treatment options for fibro than lupus and other autoimmune diseases. My internist didn’t want to go the fibro route because I’m young, fairly active and I don’t have all the symptoms (no IBS–yet–thank God!). But the Rhematologist is almost positive its fibro, but she is ruling out everything else before making a final diagnosis. Fibro would account for my widespread pain and chest pain but I’d rather her rule out everything else first.  She also told me to do some research, look into a yoga class and also for a physical therapist. The sad thing is, they’ve stopped looking at pain reduction and are now looking into pain management. And this is why:

Fibromyalgia is a pain disorder, not an autoimmune disease. Now this doesn’t make me(or any of you) any less of a spoonie than before. It’s still a chronic illness, just not an autoimmune illness. The fatigue, horrible pain, allodynia(did I spell that right?), light and temperature sensitivity are awful things to live with–which is why some people make major life style changes because of this.

I used to run, dance and weight train in my early college days, not to mention I was working retail and tossing around fifty pound bags of dog food every day. But as the symptoms got more intense I sort of fell out of my routine because it hurt so much to even stand. Supposedly, if you stick with it your body gets used to it and the pain actually improves so I guess its worth a try, right? I’m also looking into vitamins to help battle the fatigue since I’m probably going to have to weed caffeine out of my diet. *sobs*

I don’t exactly eat healthy…I mean…I don’t eat junk food. But my eating habits aren’t healthy. When you’re in a lot of pain, food is the last thing on your mind. I usually get nauseous when I hurt really bad so I rely on peanut butter, bananas and string cheese to get me through the day. That’s not a lot of protein. Apparently loosing thirty pounds in nine months with no noticeable life style change other than my no meat rule isn’t healthy either. This prompted my doctor to recommend me to a blood specialist–just in case. I also received a lecture about making sure I eat properly.

I am going to focus more on healthy substitutes for what I call my ‘spoonie diet’. I’m currently on a quinoa and black bean kick, I just I hate cooking. Never fear! I have it all planned out, when Anita and I move in together she will cook all the veggies in the world for me because she doesn’t eat meat either. Together we will make each other healthier. #spooniesunite!

I’m going to get back to my research and morning decaffeinated tea. I’ll write again soon. Promise.

oxoxoxo

Kat

 

Disabled and Cute

Caution: Sensitive subject, ranting inevitable.

This week has been particularly difficult just mental health wise. Some things happened (not bad things) and I’ve finally decided to move out of my dad’s house this summer. Despite the exciting, life changing decision there’s been a few days with noticeable tension in the air that’s been particularly hard to cope with. I’ve been hibernating in my room instead of going out with Mac or Elsa. I’ve also been working non stop so I’ve been really tired but today I saw something on twitter that made me smile.

It was a hashtag. A spoonie/disabled/chronically ill hashtag and it’s beautiful. All around the world people are tweeting selfies and pictures of their disabled/spoonie/chronic life and fellow spoonies are commenting on how beautiful we are. #disabledandcute I’ve never considered myself disabled. I have one of those parking placards but I never use it because I’m not as bad off as someone with a wheelchair or cane so I park in the normal parking spots so others, who need them, can use them.

Call me stoic, courteous, stupid or whatever you like. On my worst days when I need that placard I don’t leave my bed so that only goes to prove that when people see me out and about they see the healthy me. The me on the outside, primped and polished, make up on point and a wardrobe to die for. (Seriously, don’t mean to brag but I get loads of compliments, even on my lazy days. Forever 21 guys…Forever 21…)

But I’m chronically ill. Chronically ill. I don’t think people get the terminology here. True I may not use a cane or a wheelchair–honestly I don’t think I could use a cane, my wrists cant take that sort of pressure–but I do have limits. This illness will never go away, it’s always there even on my good days lingering in the shadows of my happiness. It creeps up and bites me some times, and other times I’m prepared for when it rears it’s ugly head. I’ve managed to keep out of the hospital so far because I take care of myself but I do struggle every day.

Most days you’d never know I was in pain unless you hugged me too hard. Even on the days I feel like I’m dying, I get up…go to work and deal with it if I can. If I cant my boss sends me home. But he knows I’m trying. I cover up the dark circles left by painsomnia, wear loose slacks to hide the braces on both knees. I bite back the pain and blink away the tears to fool even the most important people in my life. It’s hard…believe me… it’s hard. But I manage, and I know my limits.

Does this make me disabled? I don’t really know. I don’t feel disabled, but maybe just because some days I can’t drive myself to work or open my ginger ale bottle this qualifies me for this prestigious club. I don’t have cute hospital selfies because the one time I was in the hospital I wasn’t thinking about selfies–I couldn’t even sit up. But that was a long time ago. Now, if I need medical attention I call up my doctor and fake it till she can get me in. Sometimes I get admitted for a few hours for an emergency IV bag of fluids or a CT but most of the time she sends me home with a prescription and a promise from my dad to keep an eye on me. She knows how much I despise hospitals, so she agreed to help keep me out. This new internist however is amazing, though since she changed my meds I’ve been ten times better.

So you can imagine how deciding to move out was a big decision? I live with my dad for several reasons, most of them being the fact he had medical experience and he keeps me cheerful. I wont be by myself, Anita–another amazing friend from school–will be my roommate and we will have so much fun playing video games in our nerd apartment. Between the Star War’s bathroom, the Star Trek couch pillows and my hundred and one Harry Potter, Doctor Who, and DC collectibles, we gonna be the talk of the nerd community. I’m currently saving for a new graphics card and a mount for the four piece wall screen 😉 Good bye 180 degree view and hello 4K gaming!!

BTW finished the ME trilogy and I’m officially prepared for Andromeda. Gonna play around with Halo and DA:O until March 21st.

So yea… I wouldn’t say this was a rant really.. but I had a lot to say. I’m working on some creative pieces to post. I know I’ve been slacking and left some series hanging. I apologize. I’ve been writing a crossover with a friend and its been hogging all of my attention.

Any ways,

I love you all.

OXOXO

Kat

Kat, the Horrible Blogger and Girlfriend

Hey there Love’s! How’s it going?

I’m doing a bit better than last week. I had a doctors appointment with a new Internist and I really think she’s going to turn things around for me. I slept for the first time in months thanks to some new meds and I’m hoping this round of steroids will reduce some of the inflammation in my back and hands so I can go back to work. Still finding it difficult to write, but I’m sleeping better so that’s something!!

I thought I’d talk a little about Mac today. He’s definitely not my normal type, and not just because he’s not and Alistair or Cullen lookalike. He’s sweet, a little gimpy but unbearably adorable. And just because I know you’ll all ask–he doesn’t have any tattoo’s, own a leather jacket or a motorcycle. And there is nothing wrong with that. Life often takes you by surprise and throws the most unlikely people across your path. He is however a volunteer firefighter and working on enlisting in the military. I didn’t know this when I met him either. What can I say? Can I pick em’ or what?

For the past year and a half since I stated this pitiful excuse for a blog I’ve been preaching self love and independence. And I still am. I refuse to be one of those girls who find a guy and stop everything, move in together, get married then spend the rest of my life with three kids regretting the fact that I never got my Masters degree.

Thankfully Mac is big on the whole ‘if you can dream it, do it’ thing, like me so we’re constantly encouraging each other to get out there and make shit happen. But it’s also been difficult for me because I’m not used to having anyone to worry about other than myself. Not that I don’t like having him in my life, because I do–but if I decide to make a last minute day trip to Queen City to see a friend and help her install her new video card and bake a cake on my only day off, I do it. I’m the type of person that tries to fit everyone into my life and I often fail to take care of myself, which is why my symptoms got so bad there for a while. I don’t make a habit of telling everyone where I’m at either, I just go, go, go. Sometimes I feel like I’m as good a girlfriend as I am a blogger, which is horrible. It’s okay, you can say it, don’t be shy. Kat is terrible at blogging, but we love her anyways because she’s cute and funny. 😉

Now, I feel a little guilty because I didn’t invite Mac or I didn’t ask him if he wanted to hang out. I feel like crap most of the time so we always end up spending our time together watching TV and having nap dates, so on the one day I felt well enough for a small adventure I didn’t spend it with him. He turned out to be sick so it worked out, but I still felt really bad. I shouldn’t have, but I did. I’m still getting used to being in a relationship, I’m horribly independent and the good thing is he isn’t frightened about that.

But on to how we met. Mac and I have only been dating since the middle of December. It’s the end of January now so it hasn’t been too long but I’m growing kind of attached. Remember L? She and I don’t really talk much any more for reasons unknown, but her fiancee is Mac’s roommate. I was invited to a bonfire, realized Mac was the guy who’s ID I had accidentally stolen at work, we laughed, talked video games then L gave him my number. During Thanksgiving when I was in Denver there was a small blow up because some other people were meddling and I was stressed out but it all turned out OK in the end. After that I took him out on a date (because I’m an independent and powerful woman) then he took me ice skating and BHAM! here we are.

I’m still learning how to be a ‘girlfriend’, I’m extremely homey and chill–but I’m working on it. Also, working on building up the courage to tell him when I don’t feel well. Sometimes I hurt so bad I can’t cuddle and with my hands as bad as they are now I can’t do a lot of things for myself anymore (like open medicine bottles or door knobs) but I don’t always tell him about it because I like cuddling and it makes him happy too. Also some other things we will have to discuss, but all in good time. I’m trying to go into this with open eyes and an open heart. I have a bad habit of pushing people, especially guys away when I get scared.

Like I said, there’s not a whole lot to tell but there you have it. Kat has a boyfriend. We’re the cutest little gamer couple you ever did see. I met his mom, he met my dad, I made him watch Firefly and he made me watch Sword Art Online. He plays Final Fantasy while I play Mass Effect. Only thing is he’s Xbox and I’m Playstation/PC. I’m also 100% sure I’m a bigger nerd than he is, but he didn’t run away screaming when I cussed someone out in Klingon at the movies or perfectly translated a T-shirt with an Elven phrase that made little sense. Who puts “Covo mir midir a linar” on a shirt? One it’s “Covo i midir a linar” and two it means “together we will eat and sing”… It was a DIY shirt but I’m fairly certain they had meant to put something entirely different. Still wasn’t as bad as the Dalish phrase I saw at Comic con last year. I mean, if you’re going put a Dalish phrase on a shirt, at least spell it right!” Sorry… nerd alert, I’m done.

Talk to you next week!! I’ll hopefully have an update and something super funny to talk about.

OXOXOX

Kat

Love in the Valley Part 1

Lindy looked down at her dying phone one more time. Not that she had any notifications– because she didn’t–she just needed something to do. She had let her friend Ethan drag her off to Mesa to hand with some friends and their stooped up cars. She didn’t want to tell her friend that she was bored out of her mind, tired and a little frustrated so she just kept mindlessly scrolling through twitter and Pinterest.

All night she had listened to her friend Ethan and his friends talk car to one another and she could barely keep up. V6 verses V8, manifolds, VTEC engines and IFO. Lindy liked to drive, and she could drift her fathers old 98 Miata like a pro on the mountain passes up towards Prescott but she didn’t know anything more than to check her oil every 3000 miles and to never ever leave an automatic in neutral.

Guns. Guns and computers–that was a topic the small blonde could school every male here in, but no one brought up firing pins or core processors. It was all catalytic converters, exhaust systems and burnouts.

“Can we go now?” Lindy whispered to Ethan after stifling a yawn.

“Don’t tell me your tired already?” her dark headed friend teased, nudging her with his shoulder.

They had been sitting on the passenger side of Ethan’s car, Lindy in the seat with her feet handing out the door and Ethan perched on the edge of the door frame just beside her.

“No, tired was two hours ago, now I’m just cranky.” Lindy felt like this was a reasonable request, it was already two A.M. and she had a big day of shopping planned for the next day. Ethan laughed.

“Nah man,” Ethan’s friend replied getting to his feet. “I gotta head home myself, Mace is gonna be pissed if I stay out all night again.”

Ethan stood to shake his friends hand, “Alright Man, it was good seein ya!”

“Bye!” Lindy called as, Kade, Ethan’s friend got into his old yellow Honda SR and spun out of the parking lot.

Ethan shook his head as he rounded the front of his Honda Civic SI, “Show off.”

The drive back to Scottsdale was anything but boring, and Ethan tool the long way round back to the 202 just to watch Lindy cackle as he serenaded her with every R. Kelley song Spotify would play.

The dark haired car fanatic mumbled profanities to himself as he eased up the hill to Lindy’s villa on Harvard street.

“Why didn’t you take the Hayden entrance, goof?”

“Because the park entrance is prettier,” Ethan replied once he eased his lowered car up onto the road.

Lindy chuckled and shook her head. She noticed that the lights were still on inside her small villa, her grandmother must still be awake.

“Thanks for tonight,” Lindy said, “I enjoyed it.”

“No you didn’t,” Ethan smiled, “But thanks for coming.”

Lindy flashed her brilliant white teeth. “Your welcome.”

Lindy said her goodbyes and let herself out of the car. As she neared her door she heart Ethan exit the car as well. Shit, shit, shit! She thought to herself. What is he doing?

“What are you doing?”

“Kissing you goodnight,” Ethan replied.

Kiss? Ethan and Lindy had only met a few weeks ago–at work. This wasn’t supposed to be a date, why would he kiss her? Lindy’s heart began to race inside her chest. Not that she didn’t want Ethan to kiss her, it’s just that they worked together and it would be weird and awkward and all the other bad things her Grandmother had warned her about. But before the blonde could protest Ethan planted the most awkward, but sweetest kiss on her cheek, probably because she was still halfway facing her door then sashayed back to his car and zoomed off.

“Thought this wasn’t a date?” Lindy’s grandmother inquired playfully from the couch.

“It wasn’t supposed to be,” Lindy confessed, plopping down on the grey couch beside her dad’s mother.

“He obviously thought it was.”

“What are you even doing awake?”

Lindy’s grandmother looked at her with amusement, “I wanted to be awake to say ‘I told you so’.”

“Are you happy now?”

“Yes.”

“Good, then go to bed.”

“Don’t give me attitude little one,” her grandmother chastised.

“Yes ma’am, I’m sorry.”

“You’re forgiven.” her grandmother replied as she got to her feet and headed up the stairs to her loft. “Don’t forget we’re meeting Andie at ten! Goodnight !”

With a loud sigh, Lindy peeled herself off the couch and went to her room. She found her grandmother’s cat, Pepper, sprawled out on her duvet. Lindy must have woken her when she pushed the bedroom door open and Pepper looked at Lindy with disgust.

“Oh, don’t look at me that way,” Lindy snapped. Pepper blinked lethargically and set her head back down on the duvet. Pepper. was going to be extra annoyed when Lindy tried to crawl into bed.

“Lindy!” Lindy’s grandmother cried the next morning from the kitchen.

“Ma’am?” Lindy was still in her room, trying to brush the dry shampoo out of her blonde hair. It wasn’t going very well.

“We’re leaving in ten minutes! Are you going to drink this or what?” The blonde had completely forgotten about the coffee she poured herself earlier that morning.

“I’ll take it  with me!” Lindy replied as she pulled the top half of her hair into a messy top knot.

Shopping in Scottsdale  was a big deal. Fashion Square was the largest mall in the state and the people of Scottsdale (Snottsdale) were very proud of it. The mall was practically it’s own city, located in the center of town just north of Old Town and Lindy had every intention of spending the whole day cruising the mall with her adorable grandmother and slightly famous auntie. She couldn’t go wearing just anything, but she had little options seeing as she hadn’t done laundry in two weeks. She had planned on doing it last night, but Ethan hadn’t told her they would be out so late.

The small blonde, finished with her hair, pulled on a classic white shirt and a dark green plaid mini skirt and rushed out of her bedroom to grab her shoes. The grunge look was her go to on rushed mornings, it also went very well with yesterday’s eyeliner and the vegan doc martins she left by the back door.

Her grandmother commended her on her 15 minute ensemble then rushed her out the back door to the car port where Lindy’s aunt’s range rover waited for them.

“So, who’s this Ethan and when do I get to meet him?” Lindy’s Aunt Andie asked playfully as she slammed the back passenger door closed.

Lindy gave her grandmother a ferocious look. “Grandma!”

“What?”

Lindy shook her head, “He’s a friend, and there’s nothing to tell. Can we please just go shopping?”

“You should invite him for lunch! I made reservations at the Four Winds, one more won’t be a problem.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not bringing a guy from work to meet my grandmother and aunt from Vegas.”

“Ashamed of us are you?” My grandmother asked, smining a devilish smile through the rearview mirror.

“Not at all. The two of you are intimidating is all.”

“How am I intimidating?”

I looked at my aunt with sarcastic eyes. She was beautiful, naturally ash blonde, high cheekbones, glowing skin, fake double d’s and legs for days. She was a model for crying out loud and her husband owned two clubs in Vegas and a security company. If the Range Rover didn’t spell it out for you, then her two Lexus’s and five bedroom house might. My grandmother had aged, but was still beautiful. Her curly brown hair was pulled into a french twist that she magically did herself, her perfect white teeth could blind a cop in the next lane if they caught the Arizona sun just right and she strutted around in her Jimmy Choo’s like every carpet was the red carpet. The two of them had lived in Scottsdale their whole lives and it showed.

Andie got my drift and rolled her eyes, “If he could handle a night out with you, I think he can handle lunch with the two of us, now call him.”

My aunt Andie had this look, it was terrifying yet humorous. And it’s how she always got her way. My dad says I have the look, but mine was nothing compared to hers. So I took out my phone, dialed Ethan’s number an invited him to lunch.