Sea Salt Sprays and the Andromeda Hoodie

Happy Memorial Day! I live in the states so it’s tradition to spend the weekend outdoors poolside and grilling if you can. Which is exactly what Anita and I did. 

I’ve been having some trouble with my anxiety as of late. It’s been harder to control it naturally, my essential oils and calming teas just weren’t cutting it anymore. I talked to my doctor about it but she suggested a new medication that I had been trying to avoid. So my soon to be roommate invited me to spend Memorial Day weekend with her and her family for a much needed weekend getaway. 

I was a little eerie about traveling especially after starting two new medications but I was equipped with my huzi designs infinity pillow, tummy friendly snacks and a brand new playlist courtesy of Spotify. We packed up after my sisters graduation and set out to Anita’s parents house where I was welcomed with open arms. 

I napped in the hammock, played video and board games with her brothers, lounged in the hot tub and slept on this ah-mazing tempurpedic mattress topper that was so soft yet firm. It was pure bliss. 

I spent the whole weekend in my expensive Italian bikini which unfortunately isnt pictured below for obvious reasons but I have been waiting for an opportunity to feature my favourite new hoodie. The sky was pretty cloudy so when we weren’t in the pool or the hot tub I sported my Andromeda Iniative zip up hoodie because I’m a huge nerd. 

Also, since both their pool and hot tub is a salt water system, my hair was in heaven as well. I didn’t have to worry about my new blonde locks turning green from chlorine. I simply sprayed my favourite sea salt spray in and worked some surfers paste through the ends for some perfect carefree beach waves. 

I really love this hoodie because it’s big and roomy but not so big as to where it’s in comfortable and frumpy. Unfortunately ThinkGeek doesn’t make hoodies any smaller than a medium (so I was told at Comic Con) but I’ve always liked my hoodies to be big on me. This one tends to slide down my shoulder so I look like an Ariana Grande wanna be but who cares. Anita’s family has two dogs and a cat so currently it’s covered in pet hair but I feel it adds a certain air of reality to the picture, no? 

As for the Not Your Mothers line, when I was in Phoenix and L.A. I tried everything from Bumble and Bumble to Organix and I just couldn’t find a brand I liked. A friend of mine swears by this line so I tried it and I am never going back. I liked the other brands but I found I constantly had to keep adding salt spray to my hair to keep it wavy then my hair would have a light film of product on it. 

The Not Your Mothers line has a ton of great products that are affordable and of great quality. I’ve since recommended it to my friends and they all love it as well. I have natural surfer waves thanks to my dad and I feel that these products bring out the natural waves beautifully. 

I had a wonderful weekend with Anita’s family and I hope all of you enjoyed your holidays as well. ❤️ 

With love, 



Two Spoonie’s Go To Comic Con 

It’s no secret that I’m a hopeless nerd. And what’s the ultimate goal of a nerd/geek? To make it to comic con! 

Now when I nerd out. I nerd out HARD. I’m talking cosplay, meeting celebs and going to every Q&A I can make it to. I’m also very out going on my good days. So naturally I make loads of friends at these places. This year however, I’m afraid I didn’t go all out like I normally do. With my recent diagnosis I wanted to take it easy. I did dress up but my costumes were pretty laid back compared to my past costumes. I went one year in full eleven armour! 

This year, my friend, and fellow spoonie, Anita and I booked a hotel room in Dallas, stocked up on pedialyte and crackers, packed our bags and drove three and a half hours to Dallas where we had the time of our lives! Sadly some of the celebs we had wanted to see didn’t come out but we made loads of new friends. 

I was surprised at how energetic I was. I was hurting, yes. But I think with everything going on and all the excitement the pain was put on the back burner. We went prepared for the worst. And although the first day I got HORRIBLE blisters on my feet–I was relatively okay. I did have one small panic attack Saturday when I got swept away by a crowd. But I found a quiet corner to decompress in until the crowd thinned. 

So for day two I wrapped up my feet, stuffed them in my standard issue federation boots and pushed on. I went as an original series star ship captain for day two. Then a gender swapped eleventh doctor for day three. I met Jennifer Hale, Hillywood, Alex Kingston and a few pro cosplayers. I spent more time going from booth to booth talking with vendors. I finally found someone to make me a custom corset! It will be reversible so I can use it for two costumes! I also found someone who showed me how to make ME armour from Eva foam. That will be my next project. 

Aside from the major crowd and the feet blisters, Anita and I were please with the Dallas turnout. In past years it’s been disappointing (especially since I’m used to Phoenix and San Diego Cons). 

Here are some pictures of awesome costumes we saw! Maybe even a few of me 😜 

I wish I would have taken more pictures.  But I’m sure you can find loads on the Dallas Fan Expo Website. 

Untill next time my loves 

As always, 



Small Adventures

Mac could see the pain in Janie’s eyes as he sat down across from her. He slid into the bench of the small booth in their favorite grill and took her in. Blood shot, tear stained eyes that longed for peace. She wore a loose plaid button down and the Marilyn Mansion shirt she had stolen from him to cover up the bruises on her arms and the port on her chest. Her hair hung loose around her face. She probably hadn’t even brushed it. He could see her shaking underneath the plaid button down—from pain and exhaustion. She had gotten out of bed to be here early enough to snag a good table and order before the grill closed for the night.

She smiled at him; a warm genuine smile that to most would look sincere—but not Mac. He didn’t need her to him how much pain she was in or how long it had been since she had slept, he already knew. When he had left her the day before she had said she’d be fine, but Mac new she had been lying. He hadn’t been upset for he knew she hadn’t been lying to him, she had been lying to herself. He also knew her roommate had to help her out of the shower this morning and that she probably hadn’t eaten anything since he saw her the day before.

Mac’s heart broke a little more in his chest, as it often did when he saw Janie this way. He wanted nothing more than to absorb her pain even if just for a short time to give her a few moments of relief. But there wasn’t anything he could do; there wasn’t anything any one could do.

Janie’s doctors had stopped looking for a cure and were now focused on pain management. He couldn’t fathom how she made it day to day, but she did. And he loved her for it. Mac had told Janie to stay home, but she hadn’t. She didn’t say why, but Mac knew—she didn’t want to be alone.

Janie would be sitting up in her room all night, fighting back tears of pain, anyways. At least here she could see his cute face and pretend to be normal.

Mac’s food had been waiting for him when he sat, being kept warm by a steaming skillet beneath a wooden plate. Janie had ordered him his favorite dish, a steaming plate of steak fajita’s and a small bowl of pasta for herself. Pasta was her go to comfort food, but she hadn’t touched it. Mac told himself she had been waiting for him, though he knew she probably didn’t feel like eating. She pushed the noodles around with her fork and looked up at Mac’s big brown eyes.

“Tell me about your day,” she pleaded. Distract me.

Mac thought for a moment. “It was pretty boring,” he admitted, and Janie’s eyes fell back to her plate. “But…” Mac continued trying to hide his smile, “I did manage to snag you an advanced copy of Horizon.”

Excitement sparkled in Janie’s eyes. After being diagnosed Janie began working from home. She had grown depressed being cooped within the walls of her apartment so her roommate turned her on to gaming. Janie spent hours tearing through every Play Station and X box game Tiana owned and eventually had run out of things to play. She ventured into his store one day looking for something new—that was how they met. Mac, seeing the exhaustion and pain in her eyes that longed for a new distraction, gave her his favorite Final Fantasy game and his number for when she finished.

A week later Janie returned begging for the next installment, officially addicted—and not just to the game.

Her illness had been hard for Mac to get used to; it was frustrating at first with her cancelling dates or shying away from his touch. It wasn’t until the first time he sat with her in the hospital that he finally understood. He had learned to watch her, know her telltale signs of pain. He had also learned that despite the illness she still strived to go out and do things, because she would be in pain either way.  Instead of roller blading around the park, they would have picnics instead. Instead of going out to dinner they would order in and have Netflix Marathons.

Only on good days would they be venturous—like the day Janie insisted they go to the aquarium. Janie didn’t like the ocean, she couldn’t even swim—but just for a moment they both had forgotten about Janie’s illness as they trotted through Denver’s aquarium hand in hand taking selfies with the giant fish and hired mermaids.

It was those good days that helped Mac through Janie’s bad days. Though there had been more bad days lately than good, he remembered Janie’s smile on every small adventure they went on and made it his personal goal to make her smile like that again and again because that was what made him happy.

As Janie smiled at him he ticked today off his mental calendar. Mission accomplished.

“How about we take this to go?” Mac couldn’t wait to see the wonder in her eyes as she saw the game on her 4k compatible screen. He wanted to watch her sit with her eyes closed and take in the music as it moved her soul.

Janie gave Mac a devious smile. Suddenly the pain and exhaustion in her eyes was replaced by a small sense of adventure.

She reached her arm out and stopped the waitress as she passed by. “Can we have the check please?”

Kat, the Horrible Blogger and Girlfriend

Hey there Love’s! How’s it going?

I’m doing a bit better than last week. I had a doctors appointment with a new Internist and I really think she’s going to turn things around for me. I slept for the first time in months thanks to some new meds and I’m hoping this round of steroids will reduce some of the inflammation in my back and hands so I can go back to work. Still finding it difficult to write, but I’m sleeping better so that’s something!!

I thought I’d talk a little about Mac today. He’s definitely not my normal type, and not just because he’s not and Alistair or Cullen lookalike. He’s sweet, a little gimpy but unbearably adorable. And just because I know you’ll all ask–he doesn’t have any tattoo’s, own a leather jacket or a motorcycle. And there is nothing wrong with that. Life often takes you by surprise and throws the most unlikely people across your path. He is however a volunteer firefighter and working on enlisting in the military. I didn’t know this when I met him either. What can I say? Can I pick em’ or what?

For the past year and a half since I stated this pitiful excuse for a blog I’ve been preaching self love and independence. And I still am. I refuse to be one of those girls who find a guy and stop everything, move in together, get married then spend the rest of my life with three kids regretting the fact that I never got my Masters degree.

Thankfully Mac is big on the whole ‘if you can dream it, do it’ thing, like me so we’re constantly encouraging each other to get out there and make shit happen. But it’s also been difficult for me because I’m not used to having anyone to worry about other than myself. Not that I don’t like having him in my life, because I do–but if I decide to make a last minute day trip to Queen City to see a friend and help her install her new video card and bake a cake on my only day off, I do it. I’m the type of person that tries to fit everyone into my life and I often fail to take care of myself, which is why my symptoms got so bad there for a while. I don’t make a habit of telling everyone where I’m at either, I just go, go, go. Sometimes I feel like I’m as good a girlfriend as I am a blogger, which is horrible. It’s okay, you can say it, don’t be shy. Kat is terrible at blogging, but we love her anyways because she’s cute and funny. 😉

Now, I feel a little guilty because I didn’t invite Mac or I didn’t ask him if he wanted to hang out. I feel like crap most of the time so we always end up spending our time together watching TV and having nap dates, so on the one day I felt well enough for a small adventure I didn’t spend it with him. He turned out to be sick so it worked out, but I still felt really bad. I shouldn’t have, but I did. I’m still getting used to being in a relationship, I’m horribly independent and the good thing is he isn’t frightened about that.

But on to how we met. Mac and I have only been dating since the middle of December. It’s the end of January now so it hasn’t been too long but I’m growing kind of attached. Remember L? She and I don’t really talk much any more for reasons unknown, but her fiancee is Mac’s roommate. I was invited to a bonfire, realized Mac was the guy who’s ID I had accidentally stolen at work, we laughed, talked video games then L gave him my number. During Thanksgiving when I was in Denver there was a small blow up because some other people were meddling and I was stressed out but it all turned out OK in the end. After that I took him out on a date (because I’m an independent and powerful woman) then he took me ice skating and BHAM! here we are.

I’m still learning how to be a ‘girlfriend’, I’m extremely homey and chill–but I’m working on it. Also, working on building up the courage to tell him when I don’t feel well. Sometimes I hurt so bad I can’t cuddle and with my hands as bad as they are now I can’t do a lot of things for myself anymore (like open medicine bottles or door knobs) but I don’t always tell him about it because I like cuddling and it makes him happy too. Also some other things we will have to discuss, but all in good time. I’m trying to go into this with open eyes and an open heart. I have a bad habit of pushing people, especially guys away when I get scared.

Like I said, there’s not a whole lot to tell but there you have it. Kat has a boyfriend. We’re the cutest little gamer couple you ever did see. I met his mom, he met my dad, I made him watch Firefly and he made me watch Sword Art Online. He plays Final Fantasy while I play Mass Effect. Only thing is he’s Xbox and I’m Playstation/PC. I’m also 100% sure I’m a bigger nerd than he is, but he didn’t run away screaming when I cussed someone out in Klingon at the movies or perfectly translated a T-shirt with an Elven phrase that made little sense. Who puts “Covo mir midir a linar” on a shirt? One it’s “Covo i midir a linar” and two it means “together we will eat and sing”… It was a DIY shirt but I’m fairly certain they had meant to put something entirely different. Still wasn’t as bad as the Dalish phrase I saw at Comic con last year. I mean, if you’re going put a Dalish phrase on a shirt, at least spell it right!” Sorry… nerd alert, I’m done.

Talk to you next week!! I’ll hopefully have an update and something super funny to talk about.



I Literally Have Nothing to Say

Sorry I’ve been MIA… but were you that surprised, really? I started my first big girl job and as you all know I’m a spoonie so I’ve had my fair share of issues with that these past few weeks as well.

I’m very blessed to have such mild symptoms most of the time. With my high pain tolerance I hardly notice most of my pain anymore until it escalates, like when I use all of my spoons at work four days in a row. I’m not on medication as of right now (personal choice) so I manage my symptoms as naturally as possible. But some days all you can do is lay in bed with your blankie, some lemon ginger tea and watch Netflix.

I’m better now, obviously, so on to the blogging. I have some scheduled posts ready but it’s not much. I’ve come down with an awful case of writers block. So bad that I’ve ended up staring at a blank page three days in a row for over an hour. I’ve done all my usual block fixes: played video games, read a new book, listened to my classical inspiration playlist, took a walk, took a bath… and NOTHING. I have nothing…

Playing video games or listening to music is usually all the inspiration I need. And I feel like I come up with loads of idea’s at work but buy the time I get home I don’t like the idea any more. ARG!

Any helpful tips, WildeKats? I need to cure this writers block PRONTO.. I have deadlines.

As always,



My BIOWARE Heartbreaks

This is a post I’ve been needing to post for a while. I held off though until I at least played through the first two Mass Effect games so I could feel some Shepard feels too.


It was bad enough having to pick between Hawke and Alistair in the fade, accidentally letting Alistair die in my first Origin’s play through because I didn’t do Morrigan’s ritual and having to murder Carth because he thought I went to the dark side. Now that I’m finished with ME2 I’ve lost Kaiden(my Carth 2.0), Jack, Grunt, Legion and Mordin! No one told me I needed to spend endless hours upgrading my ship and amour or all my faves would DIE! Where are my gamer friends. huh? WHERE ARE YOU?

After my first two play throughs for KOTOR I learned my lesson and managed to save both Carth and Bastilla. I followed a walk through for KOTOR 2 so I wouldn’t loose anyone and make good choices and I’ve done fairly well in Old Republic though I haven’t gotten too far into the main story line–so many side quests! I tried to trick Malak into thinking I would join him again so I could stab him in the back because he’s a freaking turd blossom and then Carth is just like “I trusted you! How could you!” and leaves me on the Leviathan then shows up on the star forge. Bastilla was all like “I’ll kill him for you,” but no, I tried SO HARD to make things right but I had to kill him. I KILLED HIM. I also was playing with a mod so of course when I tried to play the game again I ended up killing Bastilla and both myself and Carth died. I tend to walk the line between good and evil–I do not think that was a good choice.

When I picked up Dragon age I never thought I’d fall so hard–not after KOTOR–but I did. Kat fell HARD. Then I was so wrapped up in keeping Alistair and Lelianna happy, Sten and Morrigan hated me in the end. I never even got Sten’s personal quest. *sobs* Also, because I’m a naturally salty person I picked dialogue options that reflected my personality and became quite the violent little warden. I didn’t even let Alistair kill Logain, I wanted the glory ALL TO MYSELF. And because of my pride, my sweet Alistair died. HE FUCKING DIED. That was three hours of my life that I spent replaying the end of the game to fix my mistakes.

Let’s not even discuss when Isabelle left me in Kirkwall in DA2. I really thought we were getting along then I get this little letter that broke my heart! Then there was the whole Anders and Fenris thing. I didn’t mean to let them both fall in love with me, it just sort of happened. They fought the whole game, then when Fenris left me Anders stepped in with his incredibly charming self and well I’m sure you can guess how Fenris felt about that. That took a lot of reloading to fix that fuck up.

AND THEN I spent 100+ hours on Inquisition, make it to Trespasser after everything that happened in the Fade (Hake is alive dammit, she is one scrappy MoFo) AND FUCKING SOLAS. Like here I am dying while running through these mirror things, my companions are flipping out because I’m crying out in pain all the time but I refuse to go back and there he is in his wolfy get up looking all sad and innocent. I’m SO glad I didn’t romance him.. this is why I play as a human the first time. The look on Cullen’s face was heartbreaking when I fell over in our new war room, then Dorian had to go on and keep telling me to “hold on” like the dear friend he is. It was one heartbreaking scenario after another.

So I decide to play Mass Effect. Everything is going good. Because Carth Onasi’s voice actor was Kaiden’s voice actor I romanced him, we had a wonderful cut scene and I kicked some major ass. I mean, I had to choose Kaiden or Ashley that one time, but Ashley got on my nerves so I wasn’t too upset about her dying. I used Spock logic and she died fighting, which is what she wanted. Mass Effect 2 gets downloaded the next day and I die twenty minutes in, break my entire crew’s heart then wake up two years later covered in scars with robots shooting at me. Not cool. I finally find Kaiden and HE LEAVES ME! But I have Garrus…so it’s okay, yea? NO, NOT OKAY! I have Kaiden’s picture on my desk… WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

Like, I don’t even want to play ME3 because I know what happens (I read up on the game prior to buying it so I could decide to play renegade or paragon even though I still ended up being in the middle). But now I know what to do in my new ME2 playthrough to save EVERYONE in ME3.

Somehow I screwed up a conversation with Jack that I couldn’t rectify and she died because she wasn’t loyal to me no matter how hard I tried to make her like me again. No one told me Grunt would die if I had him lead the second team and poor Legion didn’t even make it off the Normandy 2. Mordin died on the way off the reaper ship which was just uncalled for, he’s too adorable for death! I’m playing ME2 again before I start ME3, I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t try and save my crew.

BIOWARE what are you doing? Or more like, why are you doing this? My soul just can’t take it! Now you leave us in the dark about Andromeda AND DA4 with all of this heart break and disdain. Where do you get off breaking young girls hearts like that? As a writer, death makes for good stories but please leave that to J.K. Rowling and give someone a happy ending for Andraste’s sake! And please don’t make me kill anymore companions.You go through all of that trouble, make me love these characters then rip them from my life.

You should all be ashamed of yourselves. But then again you make fantastic games so I guess just keep doing what you do–just know that Kat is watching you.

Have any video game horror stories of your own? Comment below!


The Hero of Fereldon Hates Me: A DA:I Fan Fic

Alright. This is the first chapter of my first ever fan fiction! It’s a Dragon Age piece and as a writer myself I have all of these head cannons for my characters that just needed to be written and posted. (At least that’s what Mulan keeps telling me!) This piece is just after Adamant Fortress, you know the whole Fade debacle. My Hero is a human noble inspired by Selene from Underworld–volatile and reckless. My Inquisitor is a ginger. ‘Nuff said. 

Here we goooooo…

“Are you alright?” Cullen asked the inquisitor. The standard question everyone always asked her after every big mission. Usually she could fool them, tell them she was okay and most of the time she believed it herself—but not tonight. Tonight, Arwynne was anything but okay.

She had been standing outside the fortress staring out across the approach, arms crossed over her chested if she were trying to hold herself together. The rest of their forces were gathering the dead, rounding up the remaining wardens and preparing to leave. The sun had started to rise over Thedas blanketing the sand in pink rays of light. She couldn’t look at the fortress anymore without remembering what had transpired. She remembered everything now, both of her trips to the fade and what she had seen there.

She hated spiders. It was a silly fear, but one the nightmare demon had exploited. When she was younger, Arwynne had tripped in the garden at her families estate. When she woke she was covered in these tiny black spiders…it gave the Inquisitor chills just to think about it.

“Inquisitor?” Cullen was being formal, they were still surrounded by soldiers—not that it mattered. Everyone at Skyhold knew the two of them were a thing, Dorian and Josephine were terrible gossips.

Arwynne turned to face the commander, his face wrought with anguish but he was still concerned for the woman he had come to care for. Tears filled the Inquisitor’s eyes, “No.”

Despite the wandering eyes of the soldiers, Cullen reached for the Inquisitor. She buried her face in the lion fur he always wore, using it to hide the tears she was freely shedding. “I couldn’t save him.” She cried.

“He stayed to save you,” the commander whispered, “there was nothing you could have done.”

“I should have tried.”

“Then all of you could have died.”

Arwynne pulled back and Cullen’s gloved hand went to wipe a tear from her cheek. “Let’s get back to Skyhold. I think the inquisition can survive for a few days without its inquisitor. We’ll gather everyone at the war table when Hawke reports back from Weissahaupt.”

It took the Inquisiton four days to reach Skyhold, and the inquisitor and her party were silent for most of it. Arwynne barely slept, Bull refused to eat for two days, when Dorian did speak he was criticizing something, and poor Sera was practically catatonic. Upon their arrival, Arwynne’s advisors lost no time planning their next move. The inquisitor was present, she did her duties and when Hawke returned (with Fenris attached to her hip) the war council convened to discuss the events at Adamant fortress and submit their reports.

They had hardly been in the war room for twenty minutes when the wooden doors were thrown open by a very scary looking woman with black hair and big blue eyes. A Mabari hound trotted happily behind her. “Selene?” Lelianna said, her voice dripping with surprise and a little bit of fear.

“Lelianna,” Selene replied. Selene’s voice was harsh, deeper than the inquisitor expected.

“How on Thedas did you get here so fast, I dispatched my ravens only four days ago.”

“What did you do, ride a dragon or something?” Hawke asked the warden, just being her normal sarcastic self.

“You don’t wanna know what I had to do to get here,” Selene growled at the champion as she marched up to the war table, cocked her hip and crossed her arms to stare the inquisitor down.

“Then maybe you could explain your presence,” Morrigan tried. The apostate had a small smirk on the corner of her mouth. She had been wondering how long it would take for her old friend to barge into the castle, looks like the spymaster owed her five gold.

“I’m here because I’d like to know why someone left my husband in the bloody fade.”

It was Cassandra’s turn to speak up, her resting contorted bitch face glared at the hero of Fereldon. “He sacrificed himself so the inquisitor, Hawke and the others could escape.”

“Of course he did!” Selene snapped, “that’s sort of his thing, that doesn’t mean you had to let him do it.”

“Would you have preferred Hawke stayed behind?” Fenris asked angrily. The tattooed elf had begun to glow slightly, but no one seemed to notice.

Selene rolled her blue eyes, “Cool down glow stick, that’s not what I said.”

“I offered to stay,” Hawk said, “but he wouldn’t hear of it. He said this was the wardens doing, so it should be a warden to make it right.”

“Gah! It’s the arch demon all over again!” The hero cried, throwing her hands up in the air as she began to pace.

Her old companions stared at their feet, with small smirks on their lips. The rest of the room stared at the hero of Fereldon curiously. So Selene filled in the gaps.

“Do you know how an Archdemon is killed? Only a Grey Warden can take its life, and in doing so they must forfeit their own. Alistair offered to do it, apparently he has some martyr complex because of severe abandonment issues.”

“But both of you survived.” Cullen pointed out, “How?”

Selene stopped pacing to stare deep into the commanders eyes, “I found another way.”

With that said, the warden turned on the heel of her boot and traced her steps out of the war room. Her Mabari had been sitting quietly on the floor at Morrigan’s feet. Selene let out a sharp whistle when Porthos didn’t follow, reluctantly the war dog followed his master out back through Josephine’s office.

“Technically I’m the one who provided the alternative, if my memory serves me.” Morrigan muttered as the hero left. Lelianna giggled.

“That’s the woman you wanted to lead the Inquistion?” Josephine asked Cassandra sarcastically.

“Lelianna neglected to tell me she was so, so…”

“Intense?” Hawke finished and the seeker nodded. Lelianna only snickered some more.

“Someone should follow her,” the commander said, “if I remember correctly she wasn’t exactly a people person.”

“I shall go,” Morrigan said, “and I’ll make sure the Hero doesn’t blow up anything of use.”

The inquisitor stared after their strange advisor as she sashayed out of the war room in pursuit her old friend. Arwynne had been silent since Selene had barged in, a little out of fear but mostly out of awe. The warden hadn’t been what she had expected—she was better. And although Selene’s presence only made the inquisitor feel worse inside, she had to admit she was swooning—in an entirely professional sort of way.

“Inquisitor, are you alright?” Josephine inquired playfully. Arwynne turned a shade lighter than her ginger hair and nodded.

“Yeah, uhm. Do you think she’ll stick around?”

“I’m not sure you want her to.” Lelianna laughed.

Selene expected Morrigan to follow her outside, Selene stopped in a secluded corner away from any ears and eyes. “You and I need to talk.”

“And so we shall. What about?”

“I need your help to rescue Alistair.”

Morrigan scoffed, “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh for Andrastes sake! Morrigan you of all people know how dangerous the fade is. To be in it physically? That’s a death sentence!”

“I understand your pain, Selene. Alistair was a fine man and his loss is tragic, but rescuing him is a death sentence as well.”

“I don’t care!”

“And what if you find him dead? Hmmm? What shall you do then? This is a fools errand Selene and no good will come of loosing two high ranking wardens.”

Selene’s face was no longer filled with anger, it contorted in pain and fear. “I can’t just leave him there. You know him; even if he survived the nightmare demon he won’t find a way out himself. He’ll wander the fade accepting it as a punishment. What if you were in my shoes, what if it was Kieran?”

Morrigan was at a loss. She wanted to help her friend but didn’t want to risk everything the Inquisiton had accomplished or put her son in danger.

“There has to be a way,” Selene pleaded, “I can get in through a rift can’t I? As long as it remains open that will be my exit.”

“The fade is unpredictable walking mentally through it, physically is trickier.”

“Please, Morrigan. Please?”

Morrigan let out a sigh, “Very well. Though I will not guarantee the outcome, and I will not be held accountable. There is much research to be done, you cannot just go barging into the fade like you did the last time.”

“Thank you.”

“Yes, yes. Do not go all Alistair on me just yet.”

Morrigan slicked off to her liar or wherever it was she slept to do her research. Selene, who had left her company rather rapidly with little else but Porthos and her sword, stood idly in the corner of the courtyard. For a time, she remained unnoticed. The Hero of Fereldon, with Porthos at her feet, tried hard to keep the hard look in her eyes but the sadness kept creeping in. It wasn’t long till Lelianna spotted her old friend hiding.

“It is okay to be sad, Selene.” Lelianna said, approaching the Hero from a walkway leading up onto the battlements.

“Sad doesn’t even begin to describe what I’m feeling.”

Lelianna pulled her friend into a much needed hug. Selene had never been an easy person to get to know, but it hadn’t taken Lelianna long to open up the young warrior when they were running around Fereldon trying to end the blight. Those weren’t exactly better days, but they definitely were anything but lonely. Selene was raised to be strong and had never wavered not even when she came face to face with the Archdemon. Selene wasn’t sure if it was fear that was filling her chest or loss. Whatever it was hurt worse than the joining; it was worse than pain. This feeling it felt like a spirit had reached into her heart and was squeezing it while smothering her with a thick wool blanket.

“I know,” Lelianna whispered, stroking Selene’s black hair.

“I’m going to get him back, Leli. I am.”

“I believe you.”

The inquisitor had spotted them as well, and had started to approach them but found herself intimidated.

“Don’t just stand there, inquisitor. Do come and meet the hero of Fereldon.”

“Please do not call me that, you know I hate that name.”

“Titles are a bit overwhelming, aren’t they?” The inquisitor asked. She forced a smile then held her hand out so that the warden could grip it.

“Inquisitor, meet Selene. Selene, this is Arwynne.”

“Pleasure,” Selene said as politely as she could. The warden knew it wasn’t her fault, but she had needed someone to blame and so she chose the inquisitor.

“I hope I didn’t interrupt anything,” Arwynne said and the spymaster shook her head.

“Not at all.”

“I get the feeling the two of you are up to something,” the inquisitor began. “And I want to help.”

“I’m sure the inquisitor has enough duties to attend to,” Selene stated, “besides you’ve done enough. I came here to speak to Morrigan.”

Lelianna gave Selene a disapproving look and as hurt as Arwynne was inside she didn’t show it-Josie would have been proud.

“I understand. But if you have questions about the fade, Solas would be the one to ask. You’ll find him in the rotunda, now if you’ll excuse me I have inquisitorial duties to attend to.” Arwynne gave the Hero her best smile before nodding to the spymaster and heading back to the main staircase to the throne room.

Lelianna, although having known Selene for ten years, was very displeased. “Was that necessary?”

“Probably not, but she’ll get over it.”

The inquisitor climbed the stairs up to the library where she knew Dorian would be poring through book after book looking for something interesting enough to be worthy of his time.

“Ah, Inquistor my Love,” Dorian said with a slight smile, his eyes still in whatever book he was reading. “You must read this rubbish they’re writing about the imperium. It’s absolutely infuriating, this Francis DePurioux calls himself a scholar yet he fails to see…” The mage looked up at his friend just then to see her sad face on the verge of tears. “Honey, what ever is the matter?” Dorian tossed his book onto the nearest table so he could draw his dearest friend in for a hug.

“The Hero of Fereldon hates me!” Arwynne cried, “she blames me for leaving Alistair in the fade.”

“That wasn’t your fault, Alistair sacrificed himself and I’m glad he did. She obviously needs someone to blame and sadly your an easier target than Hawke.”

 Arwynne pulled back, “Thanks, Dorian I feel loads better now!”

“She’ll come around,” Dorian continued, his mustache quivered a bit. “Your impossible to resist.”

 Arwynne forced a smile. “There’s that smile.” He reached up and tapped her nose.

“Gahh, Dorian she’s just so…terrifying. In a good way, but still she’s absolutely furious.”

“Well, from what I’ve read that’s sort of her personality. I wouldn’t take anything personal.”

“Everyone talks about her like she’s the most wonderful person to exist! Even Morrigan likes her.”

“That is strange,” the tevinter Mage leaned on the edge of the table while he rubbed his chin questioningly. “I suppose I could get Bull to rough her up a bit, would that help?”

The Inquistor laughed. “No, don’t do that. Josephine would be beside herself; I’d never hear the end of it.”

“Do we know why she graced us with her presence?”

“She came to ask Morrigan for help, she wants to rescue Alistair.”

At that, Dorian laughed, he couldn’t help it. That was the most ridiculous thing he had heard all year. “I say let her take a crack at it.”

Arwynne punched him playfully. “What? I don’t need to remind you that traveling physically in the fade is practically impossible, not to mention dangerous. As long as she doesn’t enlist our-your-help she can do as she pleases.”

“She doesn’t want our help, or my help at least.”

“Good,” Dorian said shoving off the desk and reaching for his book. “You stay far away from that barbarian.”