Conversations with Video Game Characters Part 1 

So, I restarted the ME trilogy, you know, for kicks and giggles. I’m playing as a real paragon this time and everything–no more kicking mercs out the window for this Shepard–at least for now. 

Aside from the non stop working and apartment hunting, playing ME has been very therapeutic. Except for the part where I decided to play on insanity because I needed the challenge. I usually play on Veteran or Hardcore. But no, I kicked it up a notch and it took me an hour to get through the collector ship trap thing and since I’m a paragon I couldn’t tell the Illusive man how I really felt. But for the first time ever in all my playthroughs I kept both Miranda’s and Jack’s loyalty so there really is an upside to the chaos. 

Last night, during the adventure on the collector ship, I decided to take Grunt out of timeout. He had been very ugly on Illium but I needed a tank so naturally the Krogan was my first choice. And as usual he kept popping off morbid comments, here’s how the conversation went. Keep in mind this is a video game and he can’t hear me. 

We get off the shuttle and Grunt says: I’ve never seen ship like this before. 

Well no shit, you’re a tank grown baby Krogan. I’ve never seen a ship like this and I’m a seasoned N7 operative and a spectre. But I of course kept my mouth shut. 

Garrus: Looks like a giant hive, rachni maybe? 

EDI proceeds to tell us some techy information on the ships parameters and signature. Then tells us it’s the same ship that we saw on Horiozon. 

Shepard: Maybe the defence towers softened it for the Turians. 

Grunt: Maybe the missing humans are here, or maybe their dead. 

Me: Shut up Grunt, remember what we talked about? 

We find a damaged collector pod. 

Garrus: This is what the collectors used on Horizon, but these are empty. 

Grunt: *with a bit of smug glee* small, like my pod. I bet they begged for mercy. 

I glare, but keep myself from saying anything as we press on to find a pile of bodies. 

Garrus: this looks bad. 

Me: really? I had no idea. 

Grunt: That’s a lot of dead meat. 

Me: That’s is! Back to the ship! Do you know what happens to pre right of passage tank grown Krogans who disobey their space moms and pop of morbid comments like that? They go to the naughty corner. EDI send me someone else!

Of course you can’t do that right now so I mumble some choice words and tell Grunt he’s headed for the naughty corner when we get back. 

Some things were said about using the bodies for testing and how these ones obviously didn’t pass. We continue into a bigger area filled with pods. 

Garrus: They could take every human in the galaxy and still not have enough to fill these pods. 

Me:that’s a cheery thought. Thank you for that, Archangel: bringer of justice. What a lovely sentiment. 

The rest of our journey went a bit like this. Me, being horribly sassy when my companions make comments or do stupid things. Garrus died like a million times, Grunt kept walking in front of my shots and my game glitched and I got stuck ontop of some box thing. Needless to say I knocked the difficulty down to hard core for a bit after I kept dying. 

Last night was anything it therapeutic but it was funny to say the least. 

Yep. Don’t worry, Anita is worse. 

Sea Salt Sprays and the Andromeda Hoodie

Happy Memorial Day! I live in the states so it’s tradition to spend the weekend outdoors poolside and grilling if you can. Which is exactly what Anita and I did. 

I’ve been having some trouble with my anxiety as of late. It’s been harder to control it naturally, my essential oils and calming teas just weren’t cutting it anymore. I talked to my doctor about it but she suggested a new medication that I had been trying to avoid. So my soon to be roommate invited me to spend Memorial Day weekend with her and her family for a much needed weekend getaway. 

I was a little eerie about traveling especially after starting two new medications but I was equipped with my huzi designs infinity pillow, tummy friendly snacks and a brand new playlist courtesy of Spotify. We packed up after my sisters graduation and set out to Anita’s parents house where I was welcomed with open arms. 

I napped in the hammock, played video and board games with her brothers, lounged in the hot tub and slept on this ah-mazing tempurpedic mattress topper that was so soft yet firm. It was pure bliss. 

I spent the whole weekend in my expensive Italian bikini which unfortunately isnt pictured below for obvious reasons but I have been waiting for an opportunity to feature my favourite new hoodie. The sky was pretty cloudy so when we weren’t in the pool or the hot tub I sported my Andromeda Iniative zip up hoodie because I’m a huge nerd. 

Also, since both their pool and hot tub is a salt water system, my hair was in heaven as well. I didn’t have to worry about my new blonde locks turning green from chlorine. I simply sprayed my favourite sea salt spray in and worked some surfers paste through the ends for some perfect carefree beach waves. 

I really love this hoodie because it’s big and roomy but not so big as to where it’s in comfortable and frumpy. Unfortunately ThinkGeek doesn’t make hoodies any smaller than a medium (so I was told at Comic Con) but I’ve always liked my hoodies to be big on me. This one tends to slide down my shoulder so I look like an Ariana Grande wanna be but who cares. Anita’s family has two dogs and a cat so currently it’s covered in pet hair but I feel it adds a certain air of reality to the picture, no? 

As for the Not Your Mothers line, when I was in Phoenix and L.A. I tried everything from Bumble and Bumble to Organix and I just couldn’t find a brand I liked. A friend of mine swears by this line so I tried it and I am never going back. I liked the other brands but I found I constantly had to keep adding salt spray to my hair to keep it wavy then my hair would have a light film of product on it. 

The Not Your Mothers line has a ton of great products that are affordable and of great quality. I’ve since recommended it to my friends and they all love it as well. I have natural surfer waves thanks to my dad and I feel that these products bring out the natural waves beautifully. 

I had a wonderful weekend with Anita’s family and I hope all of you enjoyed your holidays as well. ❤️ 

With love, 

OXOXO

Kat 

Two Spoonie’s Go To Comic Con 

It’s no secret that I’m a hopeless nerd. And what’s the ultimate goal of a nerd/geek? To make it to comic con! 

Now when I nerd out. I nerd out HARD. I’m talking cosplay, meeting celebs and going to every Q&A I can make it to. I’m also very out going on my good days. So naturally I make loads of friends at these places. This year however, I’m afraid I didn’t go all out like I normally do. With my recent diagnosis I wanted to take it easy. I did dress up but my costumes were pretty laid back compared to my past costumes. I went one year in full eleven armour! 

This year, my friend, and fellow spoonie, Anita and I booked a hotel room in Dallas, stocked up on pedialyte and crackers, packed our bags and drove three and a half hours to Dallas where we had the time of our lives! Sadly some of the celebs we had wanted to see didn’t come out but we made loads of new friends. 

I was surprised at how energetic I was. I was hurting, yes. But I think with everything going on and all the excitement the pain was put on the back burner. We went prepared for the worst. And although the first day I got HORRIBLE blisters on my feet–I was relatively okay. I did have one small panic attack Saturday when I got swept away by a crowd. But I found a quiet corner to decompress in until the crowd thinned. 

So for day two I wrapped up my feet, stuffed them in my standard issue federation boots and pushed on. I went as an original series star ship captain for day two. Then a gender swapped eleventh doctor for day three. I met Jennifer Hale, Hillywood, Alex Kingston and a few pro cosplayers. I spent more time going from booth to booth talking with vendors. I finally found someone to make me a custom corset! It will be reversible so I can use it for two costumes! I also found someone who showed me how to make ME armour from Eva foam. That will be my next project. 

Aside from the major crowd and the feet blisters, Anita and I were please with the Dallas turnout. In past years it’s been disappointing (especially since I’m used to Phoenix and San Diego Cons). 

Here are some pictures of awesome costumes we saw! Maybe even a few of me 😜 


I wish I would have taken more pictures.  But I’m sure you can find loads on the Dallas Fan Expo Website. 

Untill next time my loves 

As always, 

Oxoxo

Kat

Small Adventures

Mac could see the pain in Janie’s eyes as he sat down across from her. He slid into the bench of the small booth in their favorite grill and took her in. Blood shot, tear stained eyes that longed for peace. She wore a loose plaid button down and the Marilyn Mansion shirt she had stolen from him to cover up the bruises on her arms and the port on her chest. Her hair hung loose around her face. She probably hadn’t even brushed it. He could see her shaking underneath the plaid button down—from pain and exhaustion. She had gotten out of bed to be here early enough to snag a good table and order before the grill closed for the night.

She smiled at him; a warm genuine smile that to most would look sincere—but not Mac. He didn’t need her to him how much pain she was in or how long it had been since she had slept, he already knew. When he had left her the day before she had said she’d be fine, but Mac new she had been lying. He hadn’t been upset for he knew she hadn’t been lying to him, she had been lying to herself. He also knew her roommate had to help her out of the shower this morning and that she probably hadn’t eaten anything since he saw her the day before.

Mac’s heart broke a little more in his chest, as it often did when he saw Janie this way. He wanted nothing more than to absorb her pain even if just for a short time to give her a few moments of relief. But there wasn’t anything he could do; there wasn’t anything any one could do.

Janie’s doctors had stopped looking for a cure and were now focused on pain management. He couldn’t fathom how she made it day to day, but she did. And he loved her for it. Mac had told Janie to stay home, but she hadn’t. She didn’t say why, but Mac knew—she didn’t want to be alone.

Janie would be sitting up in her room all night, fighting back tears of pain, anyways. At least here she could see his cute face and pretend to be normal.

Mac’s food had been waiting for him when he sat, being kept warm by a steaming skillet beneath a wooden plate. Janie had ordered him his favorite dish, a steaming plate of steak fajita’s and a small bowl of pasta for herself. Pasta was her go to comfort food, but she hadn’t touched it. Mac told himself she had been waiting for him, though he knew she probably didn’t feel like eating. She pushed the noodles around with her fork and looked up at Mac’s big brown eyes.

“Tell me about your day,” she pleaded. Distract me.

Mac thought for a moment. “It was pretty boring,” he admitted, and Janie’s eyes fell back to her plate. “But…” Mac continued trying to hide his smile, “I did manage to snag you an advanced copy of Horizon.”

Excitement sparkled in Janie’s eyes. After being diagnosed Janie began working from home. She had grown depressed being cooped within the walls of her apartment so her roommate turned her on to gaming. Janie spent hours tearing through every Play Station and X box game Tiana owned and eventually had run out of things to play. She ventured into his store one day looking for something new—that was how they met. Mac, seeing the exhaustion and pain in her eyes that longed for a new distraction, gave her his favorite Final Fantasy game and his number for when she finished.

A week later Janie returned begging for the next installment, officially addicted—and not just to the game.

Her illness had been hard for Mac to get used to; it was frustrating at first with her cancelling dates or shying away from his touch. It wasn’t until the first time he sat with her in the hospital that he finally understood. He had learned to watch her, know her telltale signs of pain. He had also learned that despite the illness she still strived to go out and do things, because she would be in pain either way.  Instead of roller blading around the park, they would have picnics instead. Instead of going out to dinner they would order in and have Netflix Marathons.

Only on good days would they be venturous—like the day Janie insisted they go to the aquarium. Janie didn’t like the ocean, she couldn’t even swim—but just for a moment they both had forgotten about Janie’s illness as they trotted through Denver’s aquarium hand in hand taking selfies with the giant fish and hired mermaids.

It was those good days that helped Mac through Janie’s bad days. Though there had been more bad days lately than good, he remembered Janie’s smile on every small adventure they went on and made it his personal goal to make her smile like that again and again because that was what made him happy.

As Janie smiled at him he ticked today off his mental calendar. Mission accomplished.

“How about we take this to go?” Mac couldn’t wait to see the wonder in her eyes as she saw the game on her 4k compatible screen. He wanted to watch her sit with her eyes closed and take in the music as it moved her soul.

Janie gave Mac a devious smile. Suddenly the pain and exhaustion in her eyes was replaced by a small sense of adventure.

She reached her arm out and stopped the waitress as she passed by. “Can we have the check please?”

Kat, the Horrible Blogger and Girlfriend

Hey there Love’s! How’s it going?

I’m doing a bit better than last week. I had a doctors appointment with a new Internist and I really think she’s going to turn things around for me. I slept for the first time in months thanks to some new meds and I’m hoping this round of steroids will reduce some of the inflammation in my back and hands so I can go back to work. Still finding it difficult to write, but I’m sleeping better so that’s something!!

I thought I’d talk a little about Mac today. He’s definitely not my normal type, and not just because he’s not and Alistair or Cullen lookalike. He’s sweet, a little gimpy but unbearably adorable. And just because I know you’ll all ask–he doesn’t have any tattoo’s, own a leather jacket or a motorcycle. And there is nothing wrong with that. Life often takes you by surprise and throws the most unlikely people across your path. He is however a volunteer firefighter and working on enlisting in the military. I didn’t know this when I met him either. What can I say? Can I pick em’ or what?

For the past year and a half since I stated this pitiful excuse for a blog I’ve been preaching self love and independence. And I still am. I refuse to be one of those girls who find a guy and stop everything, move in together, get married then spend the rest of my life with three kids regretting the fact that I never got my Masters degree.

Thankfully Mac is big on the whole ‘if you can dream it, do it’ thing, like me so we’re constantly encouraging each other to get out there and make shit happen. But it’s also been difficult for me because I’m not used to having anyone to worry about other than myself. Not that I don’t like having him in my life, because I do–but if I decide to make a last minute day trip to Queen City to see a friend and help her install her new video card and bake a cake on my only day off, I do it. I’m the type of person that tries to fit everyone into my life and I often fail to take care of myself, which is why my symptoms got so bad there for a while. I don’t make a habit of telling everyone where I’m at either, I just go, go, go. Sometimes I feel like I’m as good a girlfriend as I am a blogger, which is horrible. It’s okay, you can say it, don’t be shy. Kat is terrible at blogging, but we love her anyways because she’s cute and funny. 😉

Now, I feel a little guilty because I didn’t invite Mac or I didn’t ask him if he wanted to hang out. I feel like crap most of the time so we always end up spending our time together watching TV and having nap dates, so on the one day I felt well enough for a small adventure I didn’t spend it with him. He turned out to be sick so it worked out, but I still felt really bad. I shouldn’t have, but I did. I’m still getting used to being in a relationship, I’m horribly independent and the good thing is he isn’t frightened about that.

But on to how we met. Mac and I have only been dating since the middle of December. It’s the end of January now so it hasn’t been too long but I’m growing kind of attached. Remember L? She and I don’t really talk much any more for reasons unknown, but her fiancee is Mac’s roommate. I was invited to a bonfire, realized Mac was the guy who’s ID I had accidentally stolen at work, we laughed, talked video games then L gave him my number. During Thanksgiving when I was in Denver there was a small blow up because some other people were meddling and I was stressed out but it all turned out OK in the end. After that I took him out on a date (because I’m an independent and powerful woman) then he took me ice skating and BHAM! here we are.

I’m still learning how to be a ‘girlfriend’, I’m extremely homey and chill–but I’m working on it. Also, working on building up the courage to tell him when I don’t feel well. Sometimes I hurt so bad I can’t cuddle and with my hands as bad as they are now I can’t do a lot of things for myself anymore (like open medicine bottles or door knobs) but I don’t always tell him about it because I like cuddling and it makes him happy too. Also some other things we will have to discuss, but all in good time. I’m trying to go into this with open eyes and an open heart. I have a bad habit of pushing people, especially guys away when I get scared.

Like I said, there’s not a whole lot to tell but there you have it. Kat has a boyfriend. We’re the cutest little gamer couple you ever did see. I met his mom, he met my dad, I made him watch Firefly and he made me watch Sword Art Online. He plays Final Fantasy while I play Mass Effect. Only thing is he’s Xbox and I’m Playstation/PC. I’m also 100% sure I’m a bigger nerd than he is, but he didn’t run away screaming when I cussed someone out in Klingon at the movies or perfectly translated a T-shirt with an Elven phrase that made little sense. Who puts “Covo mir midir a linar” on a shirt? One it’s “Covo i midir a linar” and two it means “together we will eat and sing”… It was a DIY shirt but I’m fairly certain they had meant to put something entirely different. Still wasn’t as bad as the Dalish phrase I saw at Comic con last year. I mean, if you’re going put a Dalish phrase on a shirt, at least spell it right!” Sorry… nerd alert, I’m done.

Talk to you next week!! I’ll hopefully have an update and something super funny to talk about.

OXOXOX

Kat

I Literally Have Nothing to Say

Sorry I’ve been MIA… but were you that surprised, really? I started my first big girl job and as you all know I’m a spoonie so I’ve had my fair share of issues with that these past few weeks as well.

I’m very blessed to have such mild symptoms most of the time. With my high pain tolerance I hardly notice most of my pain anymore until it escalates, like when I use all of my spoons at work four days in a row. I’m not on medication as of right now (personal choice) so I manage my symptoms as naturally as possible. But some days all you can do is lay in bed with your blankie, some lemon ginger tea and watch Netflix.

I’m better now, obviously, so on to the blogging. I have some scheduled posts ready but it’s not much. I’ve come down with an awful case of writers block. So bad that I’ve ended up staring at a blank page three days in a row for over an hour. I’ve done all my usual block fixes: played video games, read a new book, listened to my classical inspiration playlist, took a walk, took a bath… and NOTHING. I have nothing…

Playing video games or listening to music is usually all the inspiration I need. And I feel like I come up with loads of idea’s at work but buy the time I get home I don’t like the idea any more. ARG!

Any helpful tips, WildeKats? I need to cure this writers block PRONTO.. I have deadlines.

As always,

OXOXO

Kat

My BIOWARE Heartbreaks

This is a post I’ve been needing to post for a while. I held off though until I at least played through the first two Mass Effect games so I could feel some Shepard feels too.

WORST IDEA EVER.

It was bad enough having to pick between Hawke and Alistair in the fade, accidentally letting Alistair die in my first Origin’s play through because I didn’t do Morrigan’s ritual and having to murder Carth because he thought I went to the dark side. Now that I’m finished with ME2 I’ve lost Kaiden(my Carth 2.0), Jack, Grunt, Legion and Mordin! No one told me I needed to spend endless hours upgrading my ship and amour or all my faves would DIE! Where are my gamer friends. huh? WHERE ARE YOU?

After my first two play throughs for KOTOR I learned my lesson and managed to save both Carth and Bastilla. I followed a walk through for KOTOR 2 so I wouldn’t loose anyone and make good choices and I’ve done fairly well in Old Republic though I haven’t gotten too far into the main story line–so many side quests! I tried to trick Malak into thinking I would join him again so I could stab him in the back because he’s a freaking turd blossom and then Carth is just like “I trusted you! How could you!” and leaves me on the Leviathan then shows up on the star forge. Bastilla was all like “I’ll kill him for you,” but no, I tried SO HARD to make things right but I had to kill him. I KILLED HIM. I also was playing with a mod so of course when I tried to play the game again I ended up killing Bastilla and both myself and Carth died. I tend to walk the line between good and evil–I do not think that was a good choice.

When I picked up Dragon age I never thought I’d fall so hard–not after KOTOR–but I did. Kat fell HARD. Then I was so wrapped up in keeping Alistair and Lelianna happy, Sten and Morrigan hated me in the end. I never even got Sten’s personal quest. *sobs* Also, because I’m a naturally salty person I picked dialogue options that reflected my personality and became quite the violent little warden. I didn’t even let Alistair kill Logain, I wanted the glory ALL TO MYSELF. And because of my pride, my sweet Alistair died. HE FUCKING DIED. That was three hours of my life that I spent replaying the end of the game to fix my mistakes.

Let’s not even discuss when Isabelle left me in Kirkwall in DA2. I really thought we were getting along then I get this little letter that broke my heart! Then there was the whole Anders and Fenris thing. I didn’t mean to let them both fall in love with me, it just sort of happened. They fought the whole game, then when Fenris left me Anders stepped in with his incredibly charming self and well I’m sure you can guess how Fenris felt about that. That took a lot of reloading to fix that fuck up.

AND THEN I spent 100+ hours on Inquisition, make it to Trespasser after everything that happened in the Fade (Hake is alive dammit, she is one scrappy MoFo) AND FUCKING SOLAS. Like here I am dying while running through these mirror things, my companions are flipping out because I’m crying out in pain all the time but I refuse to go back and there he is in his wolfy get up looking all sad and innocent. I’m SO glad I didn’t romance him.. this is why I play as a human the first time. The look on Cullen’s face was heartbreaking when I fell over in our new war room, then Dorian had to go on and keep telling me to “hold on” like the dear friend he is. It was one heartbreaking scenario after another.

So I decide to play Mass Effect. Everything is going good. Because Carth Onasi’s voice actor was Kaiden’s voice actor I romanced him, we had a wonderful cut scene and I kicked some major ass. I mean, I had to choose Kaiden or Ashley that one time, but Ashley got on my nerves so I wasn’t too upset about her dying. I used Spock logic and she died fighting, which is what she wanted. Mass Effect 2 gets downloaded the next day and I die twenty minutes in, break my entire crew’s heart then wake up two years later covered in scars with robots shooting at me. Not cool. I finally find Kaiden and HE LEAVES ME! But I have Garrus…so it’s okay, yea? NO, NOT OKAY! I have Kaiden’s picture on my desk… WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

Like, I don’t even want to play ME3 because I know what happens (I read up on the game prior to buying it so I could decide to play renegade or paragon even though I still ended up being in the middle). But now I know what to do in my new ME2 playthrough to save EVERYONE in ME3.

Somehow I screwed up a conversation with Jack that I couldn’t rectify and she died because she wasn’t loyal to me no matter how hard I tried to make her like me again. No one told me Grunt would die if I had him lead the second team and poor Legion didn’t even make it off the Normandy 2. Mordin died on the way off the reaper ship which was just uncalled for, he’s too adorable for death! I’m playing ME2 again before I start ME3, I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t try and save my crew.

BIOWARE what are you doing? Or more like, why are you doing this? My soul just can’t take it! Now you leave us in the dark about Andromeda AND DA4 with all of this heart break and disdain. Where do you get off breaking young girls hearts like that? As a writer, death makes for good stories but please leave that to J.K. Rowling and give someone a happy ending for Andraste’s sake! And please don’t make me kill anymore companions.You go through all of that trouble, make me love these characters then rip them from my life.

You should all be ashamed of yourselves. But then again you make fantastic games so I guess just keep doing what you do–just know that Kat is watching you.

Have any video game horror stories of your own? Comment below!
OXOXO,

Kat